Casual Sex

If you've ever watched Sex and the City (SATC), or had/have a girlfriend that is obsessed over the series or movie, you know that Carrie is the girl's girl. She has an amazing closet, and a to-die for wardrobe. Miranda is the obsessive work-aholic. Charlotte is the traditional blue-blood who is hopeless/hopeful romantic. And Samantha. . oh, Samantha. She is the woman who sleeps around - but is admired for her ballsiness in business and in life. She is the go-getter.

Let's talk about Samantha in this post. Guys (and I'm sure girls) often wonder if this type of woman even exists. The woman that is actually turned on by a one-night stand, that craves sex as much or more than men, and is almost insatiable. Her drive is admirable, but in "real life" would this woman be intimidating or threatening?

I've been a part of discussions about women and casual sex. Can it be done or do they get too emotionally involved? Sometimes the "friends with benefits" story is a myth, sometimes it works, but most often, one of the parties ends up getting emotionally attached - and this applies to girls and guys. How do you keep both people happy, satisfied and on the same page?

For the people that don't believe that casual sexual relationships exist, they do. For the ones that are in or have had casual sexual relationships, I'd love to hear your stories and perceptions. It takes a strong female who is comfortable with who she is to know what she wants and to go for it. For some people, these casual relationships are built off the fact that one or both people are afraid to "commit", afraid of getting too close, not wanting to settle, and/or wanting someone that can fufill a particular need without the emotional "messiness" that could potentially come with a relationship. Of course I haven't listed all the reasons, because there could be many.

If a casual sexual relationship does exist, is it healthy? I think if two people have that "need', and are consenting, and both understand that it is nothing more - this is a relationship that could work. Basically - you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. I don't think that a casual sexual relationship is something that has a chance at being long-term, but if both are ok with right now, then who's to judge?

Guys are worried that girls will get emotionally attached - and this does happen sometimes, don't get me wrong. But I have a couple of girl friends that don't want a serious committed relationship. They aren't looking to settle down, and are happy just going where life takes them. Is that the path that I am on? No, but I believe that women, can just as easily as men have a casual, no-strings attached sexual relationship. It's rare to find a woman that is comfortable enough and strong enough to know what she wants and is open about sex - but that woman is out there. Maybe not as flamboyant as Samantha, or as sexually aggressive or outspoken, but there are women that are similar to her. Guys may think that would be their dream to have a sexually aggressive woman, but I honestly think that they would be intimidated by her if confronted in real life.

There isn't enough wall space in New York City to hang all of my exes. Let me tell you, a lot of them were hung.   Samantha Jones