The Interview

So my friend - we'll call her Jane*, had a couple first dates the other week, and we started talking about how dating and interviewing for a job are quite similar. She inquired, is it better to know that you're "overqualified" for whatever position the guy is looking for, or "too perfect" because his exepectations are low? Both just come down to the fact that you "didn't get the job" - even if you weren't even looking for a job anyway. Whatever happened to the plain ol' "It's not you, it's me. . . can we still be friends?" cop-out?

I haven't had much experience in the way of first dates, but I have had a few job interviews. I think I've had a couple job prospects that either I turned them down, or they turned me down - but in the end, basically I just didn't get hired. Since I have a lot of experience and I am a workaholic, the answer that comes most frequent is - "You're overqualified.". . . um. Ok. Thanks?

In the dating world, what are we looking for? Most people I know aren't on a mad mission to find Mr. or Mrs. Right. . . they're more along the ride of dating, and looking for Mr. or Miss. Right NOW. I've never thought of my dating life as looking for a future husband - that's too much pressure! However, after dating for a few months, I would assume that you would know if you liked that person well enough to continue to stay in each other's lives.

As I near my "Dirty Flirty 30's", marriage (and more children!) are on the back of my mind, but have been pushed, ever so slightly behind my "To Do" list of things that I want to get done before I tie the knot. I have some friends that are happily married, some that won't admit that they aren't happy, those that wish they were married, some that are about to be married, and the ones that want nothing to do with marriage. But the peers that are still in the dating scene and the ones that aren't quite married yet - I don't think any of them feel the urgent "need" to get married asap (like, tomorrow).

I don't understand how some people feel the pressure when they first meet someone to either jump into a relationship with them, or write them off because the other person "is overqualified" or "too perfect". What happened to the days of just. . . dating?? According to a study that I read, it takes about 18 months to really know a person. And I believe it will take a lifetime to really know that person. . . even though you may never really know everything about them. Why is there that pressure to instantly know whether or not I will be talking to you for the rest of my life? Can't we slow down and just. . . get to know one another?

In the end, you may not have gotten the job you didn't even realize you were applying for. But it's better than being overqualified and bored, or too perfect and being up on a pedestal with the other person waiting for you to make a mistake. This leaves you open for the possibilities that lay ahead - like more dates! And meeting new people.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty.