Long Distance

I was suggested to talk about long distance relationships. . . since I've never had one, and the person that suggested this topic to me said that theirs didn't work out. . . I started thinking about what makes a relationships work, and what ultimately makes it fizzle out. I know I just did a blog about how to make it work (blah, blah, blah), but why, at a certain stage (AGE?!) does everyone think that it's the time to get hitched, have a baby (or two or three)??

 You see people all the time getting together and moving in asap (hello, Bachelorette Ali and Roberto. . . and any other celeb relationship). It almost seems that it's the "norm" for people to meet, and quickly get together. I feel it's pressured upon people to get married - even if it isn't the "right" person. Since I've luckily (at least I keep telling myself this) never been married or engaged, I haven't had to question whether or not I've "settled" for the right person or not. 

 A lot of my friends are married or engaged, and a lot of people who I grew up with are married and have started their families. . . which really makes me wonder, did they "get lucky" and find the right person, or did they bend to pressures and just get hitched because, at the time, it felt the "right thing to do"? Some people I know, it feels like they are with their soulmate. However,  with other relationships, I think certain situations brought and keep them together.


 Random thought: sometimes I think that a relationships lasts based on a person's (or people, since there are two in a relationship) tolerance level.

 Anyway, back to long distance relationships (you knew that was coming): to do or not to do? (comment, please) I don't know about you, but if I haven't seen my significant other in a couple of days, when we do get back into face-to-face time, I always feel a little awkward. It isn't a bad thing, but I can't imagine not seeing someone for months on end. Plus, let's be honest. . . but what about fidelity, temptations and all that?

 My longest distance was 36 minutes, on a good day. Granted, I was in a whole different stage/mentality/thought process back then, and looking back that isn't that far (hello, I'm from LA and everything is 45-60 min away). On the other hand, that distance made me question the balance of our relationship, what I really wanted, and who he really was. What I'm trying to say is, distance helps you put everything into perspective and makes you question yourself about your intentions and commitment to the relationship. When you're with someone 24/7, you don't have the time or space to be able to process if that relationship is something you want, or if it's "where it should be" (wherever that is). You may be able to see the "bigger picture", appreciate the time you spend together (maybe. . . hopefully??), and get a better perspective of where you want your relationship to go.

As a devil's advocate: maybe a long distance relationship makes you put less effort into your relationship. Ultimately, the question the relationships comes up with is: break up or move in together. Doesn't that possibly leave one person feeling like they're lacking?

Successful woman doctor meets handsome and captivating businessman while flying across the country. The flight is long, they have a lot to talk about, they hit it off, they exchange numbers, and bam! They're in a relationship. However, she lives in LA, and he lives. . . well, to protect identity, in a different state (MIDDLE AMERICA!). We'll call her Sheila* and we'll call him Steve*.

Things go well, and several months later, they're talking the future, children, marriage, and the whole nine yards. Since Sheila is a doctor, she's quite busy, but Steve has business in LA a lot, so they actually get to see each other quite often. Soon, he decides that he should relocate to LA since there are so many pros to moving (Sheila, current and potential business, etc.). Before Sheila bought her current townhome, she used to live in a charming apartment complex and suggests to Steve that he try to get an apartment there. Since things had been going so well, it's unusual that they decide that this arrangement is going to work.

Steve moves to LA, and a couple months later, Sheila gets an unusual upsetting phone call. If you haven't guessed already, Steve was married, three children, multiple properties, and not nearly as successful or debt-free as he had lead Sheila to believe.

That wasn't the makings of a Hollywood movie, it's a true story - and I have heard different variations of the same. And for those wondering what happened, Sheila broke up w/Steve and changed all her locks, and got back most of her stuff that she'd left at Steve's apartment. Luckily for her, she didn't literally move in with the guy!

So, as with all things in life, long distance relationships may or may not work. There isn't a perfect formuation when it comes to relationships, even long distance ones.

*Names changed to protect the innocent and guilty