Is there anyone "normal" out there that's compatible??!!

I'm sure guys get this too. . . you finally meet that great girl (or guy), and you are on your first date - and you realize WTF am I doing here, and how do I get out of here ASAP?! Obviously he or she didn't look like Mr. Pyscho in the picture over there, otherwise you wouldn't have made it to this first date. . . but that got me thinking, where are all the normal people in this world of "so many people"?!

Gray* went on another date from her dating website recently, and didn't even know the guy's real name. She did, however find it out, not through the conventional way, but with the dude speaking in third person (Anyone remember Jimmy D from Millionare Matchmaker?). It's normal for a guy in LA to have an ego, but really?! I thought that talking in third person was made for bad reality tv. What do I know, right?

Along with Gray's unfortunate dating experience, I also got flashbacks of a friend, Ali* who used to drag me along as her "chaperone" when she would meet up with the random guys she meet on the dating website she was using. Maybe the free part should have tipped her off, but relentlessly, she met up with guy after guy, and I, even unwillingly, went - if not scared for her safety. One of the first guys we met was semi-ok. . . tall, skinny, totally her type. He actually was brave enough to meet up with me, Ali and a few other girlfriends. . . but then wanted to take Ali away so they could have some "private time" - uh. Let me think about that. . . let my friend drive off in some random dude's car? I think not. Oh yeah. And while we were all together in a group, he kept trying to talk to another one of the girls in the group. Can we say douche?

Then there was Billy*, the totally rocker dude who looked like a hottie in his profile, seemed intelligent, and was hapa (part asian and part something else). . . not so much her type, but the guy had muscles. Billy met us up after a night out at a diner. He finally shows up, and he is greaser to the max - SOOO not her type. Supposedly doesn't drink, do drugs, and is "straight-edge", but homeboy is twitching like he's getting electrocuted, and his eyes were moving around like those googly eyes you use for arts and crafts. Straight-edge my butt. We 86'd this fellow asap, and of course, he tries telling me to let him have some time with her - Um. NO WAY DUDE. I tell her to watch her back, don't let him follow her home, and text me when she gets home. He texts her: I hope you get home safe. . . That's sane enough, right? I hope you don't crash or anything bad Yikes. If that's not bad enough, several days later, he texts her to give him "her hot friend's number" - that's me. HELL NO.

So when someone tells me that there are "plenty of fish in the sea", I want to challenge them to find me one that is compatible with me, won't kill me or abuse me (emotionally or physically), can carry a decent conversation, has an education (at least his h.s. diploma!), a job, not living with his parents, doesn't have emotional baggage, has some sense of fashion, won't lie, beg, cheat or steal, and has THAT CONNECTION WITH ME. . . oh yeah, and actually wants to be with ME. And I'd like to be attracted to the guy please.

It's no wonder, if you're living in LA, and you're single that there are many, many reasons for that. But if everyone else is unstable, and you are not, my thoughts are, what is wrong with you?

* Names changed to protect the innocent and the guilty

Welcome!

So my friend, we shall call her Gray*, has recently moved back to LA - that's Los Angeles, not Louisiana (HUGE difference), is recently divorced, and getting back into the dating scene - at the insistence of her mom and a few close friends. With all the great technology we have at our fingertips, she was persuaded to sign up on a dating website (we'll leave the site's name out of it for now). It's supposedly reputable, and from my knowledge, has gotten singles into long-term relationships and *ahem* marriages.

So a few weeks ago, she mentioned to me that she had signed up for this dating website, and I couldn't help but laugh - I didn't believe her. Do people really find significant others online? Apparently so.

She met this guy, we'll call him Bob*, he initiated contact, and convinced Gray to meet up after only a week of talking. I was hesitant of the idea, but she made plans to meet him half way between her place and his, during the day, and told me she would let me know how it went.

So Saturday came, and Gray drove out to the destination place to meet Bob, and realized she was running late. . . Gray calls Bob, but only gets his voicemail, so she leaves him a message saying she's finding it hard to find the place, but she'll be there soon. Gray finally finds the place and calls Bob again to see where he's at, again, no answer. She doesn't leave a vm, but texts him inquiring where he is. Still no answer. Finally realizing she has been stood up, she leaves, wondering What the hell?!

Tuesday rolls around, and Gray gets a text from Bob: So what happened to you. . .
Gray: I was wondering the same thing
Bob: I was there. What happened to you? We should meet up again :)

Here's the kicker; while Gray initially thought she was driving to meet this Bob character halfway between her house and his, she actually drove 30min past his place to meet him - she she drove an hour and a half to get stood up.

Moral of the story: get to know someone before you put yourself out there.

*Names changed to protect the innocent and guilty

My Two Cents

As I get older, I realize that the "dating scene" is a lot more complicated than: I like you, you like me, let's date and we're together. No pun intended, but there seems to be a lot of grey area - no more black and white. Now that we have the internet with us 24/7 (thanks to our smartphones, work internet, laptops, etc.), we're bombarded with more choices than we know what to do. People don't want to settle, they want to keep searching - which is a detriment, I think to monogamy.

What happened to the days of simplicity? People date for longer periods of time before getting into "long term" relationships, and then there are the people who date for mere months and get married. I don't mind dating, but I want to know that it's progressing, and that I'm not just ultimately getting "used". I think guys have a different mentality where, they'll date, and if it doesn't work out, they end it with no strings attached because they've never fully committed.

What ever happened to monogamy and commitment? I don't want to date someone with the thought in the back of my mind that he's seeing (talking, having sex with, kissing, etc.) another girl when we're not together. What happened to morals? Standards? What happened to loyalty and the sheer happiness of being with ONE person? Is one person not enough?