I keep seeing that quote a lot lately, and it's got me thinking - How DO I know if I'm a priority in someone's life? Well, for starters, I think about the people closest to me, and think about the way that I interact and treat them - like my family and close friends. I take the time each day to make sure that I contact them - whether that be a phone call, a text, email or even seeing them face-to-face. I give them time in my day because they ARE a priority in my life. To the people that I don't see as a priority, I contact them less, and we talk infrequently.
Stephen Covey talks about an emotional bank in his book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Just like a bank account, where we're able to deposit and withdraw money, people have "banks" that other people can deposit emotions (good and bad) in their relationships. With a financial bank, you must continue to deposit money in order to be able to withdraw. In a relationship, you must continue to add kindness and courtesies to build the bank and the relationship. If a person continues to be unkind and breaks promises, this can make the emotional bank run empty and ultimately damage the relationship.
For example, I have several friends with whom I believe (and feel) that my emotional bank is full with them. We keep our word, call when we say we're going to call, and don't flake out on get togethers and promises. My emotional bank is so full with some of these friends, that a missed call or text or a last minute cancellation of plans is no big deal because I know that we will make it up. However, I have had relationships where my emotional bank was empty. Broken promises, continual "I'll make it up to you!", but never carrying through with it, and on and on. After awhile, those over withdrawals start to hinder a relationship.
Which leads me to a sore topic;
CHEATING
So we all know someone who has cheated, been cheated on, or at the worse, been cheated on ourselves. It sucks, but it happens, and in LA, it happens quite frequently. With or without the other person knowing or ultimately finding out.
I have several scenarios, but we'll choose my friend, whom I will call London*. Her and her significant other, Caleb* have been together now for approximately 2 and a half years. Not long, right? Well, they're the kind of couple who met, instantly were together, and now are a little family unit. . . except for the part that he's probably cheating on her. A few things said to me by her, his character, and a few things told to me by people who have witnessed his actions. . . Granted, I have never caught him myself, but the whole situation leaves me to wonder. . .
I am torn, as a friend, I would hope and pray someone would tell me. . . but at the same time, sometimes denial is (or at least feels like it) the better option. No one wants to know or think that they are being cheated on. So part of me wants to call her and tell her, and part of me thinks that maybe she's happier and better off just not knowing. . . because part of me thinks that even if she knows, she'll still stay with him, so what would be the point in telling her? She has made it quite clear that she wants to stay with him, no matter how bad he treats her, and all the emotional roller coaster she goes on to be with him.
When is enough enough? Don't we deserve to be happy?
*Names changed to protect the innocent and guilty
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