Marriage vs. A Wedding

Sitting in church this weekend, I was reminded again how people treat the ideas of weddings and marriages. "People invest so much into their weddings, and forget to invest into their marriages." We are so consumed about showing our love for one another in a wedding, that we forget to invest in what really matters, our marriages. Maybe this is why so many marriages fail. In The Invention of Lying, Ricky Gervais and Matthew Robinson throw a funny spin on wedding vows. It's one of the last scenes, where Brad (Kessler - Rob Lowe) and Anna (McDoogles - Jennifer Garner) are exchanging vows, and the wedding overseer asks them if they will promise to take each other until they want to. Funny, but isn't that the case in today's society? I can't even count the number of people who I know who have this idea of marriage - that if it doesn't work, divorce is definitely an option.

I think most people I know already knows someone who is divorced or has divorced themselves - it's rare to know a couple that has made it 50+ years in a marriage - let alone 10! Can anyone say, "Seven Year Itch"? I haven't experienced marriage myself, but from my brief experience with relationships, I know a lot of time, energy, work, compromise and communication goes into it. Sometimes a relationship isn't balanced - but if you don't get that balance back, that relationship may be set for failure. It's a give a take. . . and it goes both ways. That's all good in theory, I know, but putting it into practice, and throwing in emotions, drama, outside influence, etc., and it's a recipe that may end in disaster.

So what makes a marriage work? Time. Understanding. Patience. Effort. Love. Communication. Balance. Wait. Isn't that the SAME THING as a RELATIONSHIP?? I believe that people forget that a marriage is structured on a simple friendship. A partnership. Someone you can grow and learn from and with. I feel like our society is so focused on WEDDINGS and the hoopla that goes along with it, that we forget to put our relationships as our priority. I guess if there is one thing that we need to be reminded, is that not to forget the meaning of marriage, and that a wedding should reflect our celebration of the union of two people and their love for one another.

On a lighter note. . .

Ever been on a date and not realize it? Gray* has told me that it's happened to her a couple of times. . . and she only realized it when the guy went to kiss her at the end of the night. Awkward!

Which leads me to Scott*. A friend texted me the other day and asked me if I remembered Scott - some guy I'd seen around. Of course I remembered him, super friendly, outgoing, energetic. She then asked me if she could give him my number because he wanted to invite me to "something". At first, I was clueless, wondering why a complete stranger would want to invite me somewhere, and why my friend wasn't telling me details. And then I realized, the guy wanted to ask me out on a date! Ummm. . . still awkward! I suppose it would have been even more awkward if we had gone out for dinner or something else, but that whole interaction with my friend was slightly embarrassing.

So. The lesson for the week; not to be so naive!

* Names have been changed to protect the innocent and guilty